A letter to my first-born, my heart

Dear monkey,

I am sorry this letter is so belated. Right around your seventh birthday, my hard drive crashed and I lost all the photos I had ever taken of you--from your first birthday, to your seventh.

I lost photos from your seventh birthday party with your friends.

I lost photos I took of you at the river, with the hopes of sending them to friends and family.

I lost photos of you and your friends.

So many photos of you...gone.

I wanted to wait until I had taken a few more, before I wrote you this letter.

So here we are.

Seven years and two months after the day you made me a mom.

You literally changed my life overnight.

Do you know that I was in labor with you for over two days without any hope? I lay there, dilated to 4cm, for over 40 hours. Then, within minutes, I progressed to a 10--suddenly, you had made your mind up to come into this world, and that is exactly what you did.

True to your own birth story, this is how you are in every day life. You don't do anything you don't want to do until you are ready to do it. Then you pick it up, as if it were second nature.

I am so impressed with you. You literally surprise me every day.

How fast you run. How passionate you are about football. How confident you are in yourself.

How sensitive you can be.

What a wonderful brother you are. OMG, are you a wonderful brother. You help me when I don't have enough hands. You make your sister giggle like I've never heard her giggle before. All day long, while you are at school, she runs to the door and asks, "Thaddeus? Bus? Where's Thaddeus?" She loves you so much.

Your toothless smile and your perfect freckles melt me in an instant. You have such a love for making others laugh--I have no doubt your are probably the class clown in school.

You are one of the better players on your flag football team. And you do this crazy little dance every time you score a touchdown or steal someone's flag. Lol.

I am so thankful for the seven years I have had with you. You have taught me so much about myself, especially when it comes to being resilient and adapting to change.

We've picked you up and moved you around more times than I care to count. You actually went to three different schools for Kindergarten. But each time you move, you meet more friends. You win over more people with your personality and your smile. You make me so proud.

I promise you this--all of that moving is done. We are here in Colorado to stay. You love it here, and I can see that you thrive here. So we will do what it takes so that you can grow up here.

Happy belated birthday to the goofball with the oh-so-serious face. The one who shows literally zero emotion when he is having fun, but will talk your ear off about how much fun he actually had.

I love you. You are my favorite monkey.



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